“Forget what hurt you in the past, but never forget what it taught you. However, if it taught you to hold onto grudges, seek revenge, not forgive or show compassion, to categorize people as good or bad, to distrust and be guarded with your feelings then you didn’t learn a thing”. – Unknown
Covid lockdown was /is frustrating for so many of us. I’m no exception here. My journey started with frustration of not being able to head out & then gradually while I was coming to terms with reality, I went through a HUGE emotional turmoil. To summarize it, all I can say is I am NOW more open to taking a step back. Stepping Back out of toxic relations, friends, work colleagues & thoughts. Honestly, deep down, nothing is worth it. It’s the fear of standing alone that forces us to take up false relationships. If you look at this in detail, we all need people to share our joys, sorrows & experiences BUT a very few really make an attempt to understand you as a person (soul to soul connection). People who genuinely care about your feelings, emotions etc. So the whole point is if the same people don’t value whatever you bring on table then the whole activity turns out to be a waste of time / emotions & generates additional stress. So, after I was done with the analysis. I did take some extreme steps to initiate my journey:
My first step was to remove some of them from my social media platforms while learning to shut up in other scenarios. Honestly, the journey so far has been hard, very hard. Everyday once or twice a day, I am tempted to send that friend request back BUT you gotta take a stand & some day, you gotta start.
My second step was to keep myself busy. Busier means less time to sulk, think & wonder over the possibilities of “ifs” & “buts”.
Third & last, Be open & positive for your actions. Own it. Removing toxic people doesn’t mean that you are an over sensitive person or an over thinker. It can also mean that the views don’t match any longer, opinions have changed, people have evolved. So, don’t move on by blaming someone, just move on. So, learn to accept that & let it go. Only then you will be at peace with yourself.
This whole activity gave birth to a lot of emotions in me. I was condemned by my loved ones, preached by some BUT if you know the whole logic behind this, do this. Do this for your own journey, spiritual evolution as I would like to call it.